He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
