And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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