bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I AM VODKA MAN
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
