Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
