I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
