so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize