Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
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I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
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Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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