you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
