made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
