how do flat chested girls get laid?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
