I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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