why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
