She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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