I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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