I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I am available for nakedness
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
