It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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