let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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