Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
