One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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