She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
