Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
