Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
