I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
