Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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