Pappa wants mamma naked
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
