you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
