why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
