At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
