He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I came so hard my ears popped.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
