I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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