I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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