I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
