I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
this will be a night to untag.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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