why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
