The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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