We're like a lot better than the average bears
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize