distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
