The maid of honor just puked.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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