summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I look better un-naked...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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