i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Randomize
