Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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