Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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