So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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