Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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