all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
