dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
