it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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