Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
