the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
