I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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