it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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