btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
