I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
