I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
i out mim tonsoeep
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