Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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