Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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